Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
