Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
