Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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