Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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