Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
