Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I would ride that face into the sunset
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
