video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
