i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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