i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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