No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
