I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
