I'm really into asian looking animals
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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