We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
