she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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