before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
