just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize