playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
