I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize