I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
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Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
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just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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