I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
