she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
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I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
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I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
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