You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
