He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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