Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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