ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I love you. Go after that dick
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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