we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
