Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
