she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
