I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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