what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
