i think i have herpe
just one?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
