is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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