the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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