you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
