So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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