I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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