Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
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How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
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I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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