I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
