these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
