My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
