just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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