i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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