I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize