Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
