i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Are we in a gay sports bar?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
