Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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