i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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