The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
