I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
