Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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