I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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