shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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