we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
organizing the empties. That sober.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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