did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
