this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You ate ashes out of my bong
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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