Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The best revenge is premature balding
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize