Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
