the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
