im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
