Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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