Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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